The Doctored Drama

The Disney owned ABC network ran a mini-series recently depicting the purported lead-up to the attacks on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. I didn't watch the series, but the reviews I've read suggest that the Disney Corporation did not stray far from its history of turning fairy tales into big bucks or, in this case, propaganda.

The current administration in Washington, not to be outdone, developed a fairy tale of its own. The war in Iraq, so it seems, is World War II. The terrorists we're supposedly fighting have become goose-stepping Nazis—fascists all the way. Saddam has become Hitler and the W in Bush's name has somehow become Winston. Our president relishes this role of savior of the West. Of course, a few changes to history will have to be made if he expects all the characters and events to work.

Winston Churchill spoke English, and because of a speech impediment that made writing speeches for him a work of art, certain words had to be carefully avoided to accommodate his lisp. Something similar is being done for W. His sentences have been reduced to three word bursts followed by long pauses, and all words difficult to pronounce have been eliminated, though he still mispronounces many of them. But, more changes will have to be made if the current crisis is to match the events of the 30s and 40s.

Several characters in the drama will have to change sides and the Allies will have to attack Franco's Spain rather than Italy or Germany. Joseph Goebbels will have to change sides to provide a role for Cheney. The infallible Donald Rumsfeld can play Pope Pius XII, though the Pope did many things behind the scenes that do not fit well with Rumsfeld's record. Wolfowitz and Feith can fill the roles of Eisenhower and Montgomery with no problem, but Lord Ha Ha and Tokyo Rose will have to change sides so that Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly can fill their roles as administration apologists. Condi Rice may have to settle for the relatively minor role of Antonia Eden, necessitating a sex change. Karl Rove should be able to continue writing Dick Cheney's speeches. Numerous Democrats will be auditioned for the part of Neville Chamberlain—John Murtha, that old softie, is the leading contender. His suggestion that we implement a plan for withdrawal or re-assignment of our troops fits the Munich agreements to a T. It's true that Osama might have been cast in the role of Hitler, but his beard is far too long and, besides, he's nowhere to be found.

They needed someone to play FDR, but W insisted on playing both sides of the Atlantic. He assured the producers that the language barrier was no problem. Tony Blair will, of course, play Fala.

Osama bin Laden entered the developing hype for this fairy tale aimed at the showdown in November. Once again, using reverse psychology to keep the current group in power, he inserted a video at a critical juncture. Nothing unites like a common enemy. The crew in Washington has provided Osama with poster boys for the Ugly American, and he knows a winning strategy when he sees one.

Let us hope that this fairy tale does not come true, and that, in the spirit of true fairy tales, we all live happily ever after... at least, for a while.